


Holistic Medicine

by orphan_account



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Birthday Party, Canon-Typical Self-Hate, Canon-typical Lying, Dirk is back and I'm not gonna explain it, Hurt/Comfort, Maybe - Freeform, Pararibulitis (Dirk Gently), Post-Season/Series 01, Some Humor, Todd is an idiot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 01:39:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9856298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dirk throws a party. Todd lies cause that's what he does best. Farah is so done with them. Estevez isn't sure what he's doing or why he's there but he deserves the world.





	1. Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Dirk Gently fic and first multichapter thing so tell me what you think! English isn't my native so tell me if there's a metric ton of spelling errors
> 
> There's a lot of describing and talking about pararibulitis and painful hallucinations!
> 
> (Also why the h*ck wasn't there already character tags for Estevez? Am I misspelling his name?)

A part of Todd wondered if he was just completely unable to ever tell anyone any truths anymore. After all the lying he had done, it wouldn’t be that surprising, not really.

However, right now, a noticeably bigger part of his brain was preoccupied by keeping him from screaming out loud, and trying to get his shaking hands open the lid of a pill bottle. God, why were they made so hard to open?

 

He had been brushing his teeth when his toothbrush had, without any kind of warning, turned into a glowing red iron pipe. It had burned his hand into an unusable mess alongside what felt like his whole brain.

 

Finally Todd managed to swallow a pill or two, he wasn’t really counting (although he probably should) and the searing pain started to slowly calm down. After a moment that felt like way too long had passed, his hand, too, returned to its normal color, and he was left gasping for air on the floor of his bathroom, hot tears still streaming from his eyes.

  
Sometimes Todd felt bad for stealing pretty much all the pills he could find from Amanda’s apartment, but he also knew that ever since she had joined the pack of Rowdy Three, she wouldn’t have to worry about pills nor her pararibulitis, the weird vampires would keep the disease away. However, since Todd didn't live in a van with four energy-sucking anarchist vampires, he came into the conclusion that stealing the pills would be okay.

 

When Todd’s head started to clear, he used the sink to push himself on his feet and made the mistake of looking in the mirror. His hair was a mess, he was pale and sweaty and his face was smudged with the mix of tears, spit and toothpaste. On the plus side, no lasting damage was done. He was a little bit scared of the day he'd hit his head on something and die. After everything he'd lived through, that'd be a stupid way to go.

 

He was torn away from his thoughts by the very-new-door of his very-new-apartment opening and the unmistakable voice of a brit yelling for him.

“A second!” Todd yelled back and hurriedly splashed his face with water and soap, trying to get rid of the redness of his eyes.

The truth was that Dirk didn’t know. Hell, even Amanda didn’t know. The only one who knew of Todd’s pararibulitis was Farah, whom Todd made swear to never tell anyone, lying he’d tell everyone himself when the time was right.

 

No matter what it seemed like, Todd didn’t _want to_  lie about the disease. He’d lied about it long enough now. But he felt like he couldn’t tell Amanda, not now, not after she was finally starting to forgive him. How could he tell her? “Hey I know I lied about having pararibulitis for half of my life and mere months ago told you I never had it, and now I do. How have you been?” No. He couldn’t do that.

 

And Dirk. He meant to tell Dirk, he honestly did. But then he was kidnapped by the fucking CIA. And when they had finally gotten him back, he’d been in a pretty bad condition and Todd hadn’t felt like he could unload that onto him. And as the days had passed, Todd felt the possibility of telling Dirk slip further away. How could he tell him anymore, now that Dirk was almost back to normal and happy? Now that he had been keeping it a secret this long? Sure he could keep it a secret a while longer. And longer. And longer and longer and lon-

 

“Todd?” Dirk was right outside the bathroom door. “Is everything alright?”

 

“Yeah I’m coming!” Todd stepped outside, whipping his face on the sleeve of his hoodie. “What is it?”

 

Dirk was smiling from ear to ear, a smile that made Todd want to both hug him and punch him. He was bouncing on his feet like he always did when he was super excited about something.

 

“I did it! I solved it! I solved the case Todd!”

 

“What case?” Todd couldn’t remember there being any cases, not now after they had moved out of the Ridgley and started to get their life sorted. Well, as sorted as their life could be. He was friends with Dirk Gently, after all.

 

“Farah’s birthday, Todd,” Dirk said, using his why-are-you-not-following- tone. “I know when it is! In fact, I know exactly when it is! It’s on next Friday!”

 

“Farah’s- what- Farah has her birthday next Friday?”

 

“Yes, Todd, I’m pretty sure that’s what I just said.”

 

Farah’s birthday. Of course. Dirk would want to do something big, he always did. He would want to invite Amanda. Maybe even Estevez and Rapunzel. Farah would be asking Todd questions and Todd would have to tell her that he’d been keeping quiet. Or, even worse, Farah would say something that’d give him away.

 

“Todd? Are you okay? You don’t look very okay, not okay at all,” Dirk was looking at him with confusion and concern. He laid his hand on Todd’s shoulder but he shook it off.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Farah’s birthday?”

 

Dirk fell into a speech that Todd had already predicted. A huge party with everyone. All his friends. Dirk used the word ‘friends’ so often it was starting to get weird, but Todd wouldn’t mention it. He suspected that Dirk wanted to catch up for all the times he couldn’t have used it.

 

Todd walked into kitchen mid-speech, but Dirk just followed him there. The shark-kitten, now named Bongo by Dirk and That-goddamn-meow-machine by Todd was sleeping on the counter. At first they had tried to keep him off the tables and counters but neither of them wanted to accidentally set off a sharkplosion (as Amanda had called it), the mostly let him do his thing, even if it was sleeping on the dinner table.

 

Todd poured them both some orange juice (Dirk’s favorite) and continued listening him ramble on about balloons and cake. Todd knew that once Dirk had started, it would be impossible to stop him, so party it would be.

 

"Dirk, have you talked to Farah about this?" his last hope was that Farah would punch Dirk and say no.

 

"I've heard that it's okay to keep secrets from your friends if they are birthday parties. I asked Amanda."

 

"You.. You asked.. Of course you did," Todd put his empty glass into the sink. So Amanda was already in on this. Todd had no hope left anymore. Dirk smiled, looking very, very pleased with himself. Todd shook his head. How were they even friends? He had no choice but try to keep Farah quiet and not have an attack mid-party. It couldn't possibly be that hard. 


	2. Chapter II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not only did Dirk have a hunch that something bad was going on, but he also thought himself to be a decent friend and, from what he’d gathered, decent friends kept a decent eye on each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that these are so short, I'm Bad At Writing

Something was very wrong with Todd.

Not only did Dirk have a hunch that something bad was going on, but he also thought himself to be a decent friend and, from what he’d gathered, decent friends kept a decent eye on each other.

In the beginning he’d thought that the bad feeling he was having was just him being overly paranoid as a result of being held for weeks by the CIA. Surely anyone would feel shitty after something like that. But as the time went on and the feeling stayed, he came to the conclusion that this couldn’t just be him, but something was actually going on with Todd.

First Off, Todd was tired. Well, that exactly wasn’t too weird, Todd had always seemed a bit exhausted. No, this was different. Todd was tired all the time, and no amount of caffeine seemed to be able to fix it. He went to bed early, even earlier than Dirk, and slept till late (Dirk knew of Todd’s sleeping habits because of a silent agreement they had made. Or more of a silent plea from Dirk. He really didn’t want to sleep in an empty house no spend too much time alone. Not yet at least).

It was also getting harder and harder to get Todd leave the house. Dirk would have wanted to go and explore the new neighborhood or the small forest nearby, but it seemed impossible to get Todd step out of the front door.

There was also the way Todd didn’t want to meet Amanda nor Farah face to face. Or how he had lost weight. Or how pale he was. Or how he seemed to flinch whenever Dirk came close. Or how he seemed to want to get him out of the apartment.

Dirk knew it wasn’t his fault. He was pretty sure. He thought. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully.

Cause Dirk really really really didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t even want to think about being alone. He was so scared of loneliness, the empty feeling you get when you’re so alone, so lonely that you know there’s no one to hear you, no one to care. When alone turns into Alone and lonely to Lonely and you can’t fight it anymore.

So Dirk did everything he could to keep Todd there with him. He refused to let Todd slip away, not again, not now that they were friends and everything was supposedly fine. No more lies, no more secrets, no more strategical-non-truthings. 

Except that Todd was lying to his face and there seemed to be nothing he could do about it.

So Dirk focused on other things. He called Farah as often as he could. He talked to Amanda once in a while. He even kept tabs on Estevez, who had been magically healing from the bullet wounds and had taken in Rapunzel. And when he found out that Farah’s birthday was coming and there finally was a reason to get all of his new friends under the same roof, he promised himself not to let the opportunity slip from his grasp.

Todd was, in a very Todd-like manner, quite doubtful of the idea of a surprise party, but Dirk had been prepared for that, talking to Amanda before Todd. She had been pretty excited, promising that she’d help Dirk. For Farah. Although, she had added, The Rowdy Three would come with her, she was part of them now. Dirk had been expecting that, even if he would have preferred not to have them trash their house. Amanda made no promises.

Of the three he had decided to ask to come, Estevez, unsurprisingly, had ended up being the hardest one to convince to come. The detective’s relationship with the others was, to be honest, a bit weird, and if Dirk would have been any pickier, he wouldn’t have slapped the label “friend” on him. But, when you’re Dirk Gently, you can’t be picky about the people you care, so friend he is. 

Estevez had finally said yes though, but it had taken a while. He was still recovering from both being shot and losing his work partner, not to mention that Lydia Spring’s case had really damaged his view of what’s possible and what’s not. Dirk could see why he wouldn’t want to see any of them anymore after it. But Estevez had kept Rapunzel, and finally he said yes. Hell, maybe the universe wanted him to come. It wasn’t like he had much friends left.

Now he only needed to find a way to get Farah into the flat without telling her what was up. Fortunately, Amanda had promised to help him with that, and Dirk had gladly handed the job over to her. So cut to him and Todd in their kitchen, Bongo asleep on the counter and Todd’s big blue eyes fixed on him.

“I’m going to need your help though,” Dirk said. Before Todd could say no, he continued “I don’t know what you’re supposed to buy for a party, so you’ll have to come to the store with me. Tomorrow’s Wednesday, right? It would leave us then a day to just get everything ready. It’ll be so great, trust me!”

Todd sighed. “Couldn’t you do that yourself? Going to the store I mean. You’re the one who wants this. I’ll just stay here.”

Dirk felt like Todd had just punched him in the face. He really didn’t want to spend time with him. At least not in public. Was Dirk, after all, the reason Todd was so weird and tired? Was having Dirk around that awful?

“Oh..” Dirk blinked and tried to hide how hurt he felt. “I guess I could manage myself.”


End file.
